I am fairly convinced, at this point in my life, that Walmart exists for the sole purpose of reminding me that I am not God. To remind us mortals exactly how broken we are. To test our patience, and our ability to love and deal with annoying people.
The retail giant has developed quite an impressive reputation for its ability to attract the scum of the earth. Sounds harsh, but you know it’s true. So why do I shop there you ask? Well, for all you know I could be the scum of the universe as well. That’s why this anonymous blogging thing is so exciting. Kind of like internet dating. I could be anyone.
So I’m in line at Walmart the other day. A lady walks up to the cashier who’s ringing me up -who is already moving at a glacial pace. The woman bears a bag full of merchandise.
“This was left in one of the buggies,” she says to my cashier.
(You see, here in the South, they’re not called “carts,” but rather “buggies,” which I believe is a truer representation of their dixie souls.)
My first thought was: how sweet of this lady to bring it back, rather than just run off with the free stuff. Maybe there is hope for the People of Walmart.
The cashier, who obviously would rather be in a dentist’s chair than at work that day, replied with attitude, “well, I can’t do anything with it, you’ll have to take it down to Customer Service.”
The woman, who appeared very proud of herself for bringing back the lost goods, threw her hands in the air at the suggestion of a greater inconvenience. She huffed. She puffed. She stood there in disbelief that further action had been requested of her.
Then, muttering something under her breath about “just trying to be nice and do the right thing…” she stomped over to the trash can, rid herself of the abomination, and stormed out of the store.
Come on. I mean, COME FREAKING ON. Listen, lady. I’m sorry that you didn’t get your expected gold stars, but don’t volunteer to “be nice and do the right thing” unless you’re willing to, um, actually do it.
Nobody held a gun to your head and forced you to turn in the goods. You volunteered of your own volition, and heaven forbid you be asked to follow through with it.
Why did this outrage me so much? Was it ridiculous? Yes. Was it selfish? Yes. Did I feel convicted? Hmmmm. Possibly.
How many times have I done something like that? Against people. Against my God.
My relationship with God is a beautiful mess. He’s the beauty, I’m the mess.
I, too, am inconvenienced at the thought of having to follow through with something that I know and believe is the “right” thing, and perhaps have already volunteered to do. But how DARE anyone actually hold me to it. Or the circumstances hold me to it.
Don’t you know… I’M God. I make my own decisions. I can’t be bothered with things as troublesome as service, selflessness, or generosity. And if so, it will be on MY TERMS. In MY time.
Come on. I mean, COME FREAKING ON.