The 7-year Itch

THE FOLLOWING IS A REPOST IN HONOR OF MY 7th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, WHICH IS TODAY.

“We’ve heard tell of the 7 Year Itch, and its nasty effects on unsuspecting marriages everywhere.  But honestly, unsuspecting?  Really?  You’re telling me that when half of marriages end in divorce today, you didn’t EXPECT it to be difficult?  Husbands, wives, expect it.  It’s going to happen.  You’ll be tempted.  You might even indulge.  You’ll get bored.  You’ll get hurt.  You’ll inflict pain.  (And if you disagree with that last one, you’re in deeper doo doo than you think.)

Itching

People, it happened to me.  I’ll spare you the horrid details, but the general outline is this: I’m a sinful person, married to a sinful person.  We both sinned.  It was epic.  We shattered what we had.  It was in a million little tiny shards all over the floor, and now digging into our bare feet.  And at the time, I was shattered along with it.  But now, years later, I see that it was a part of the plan.  God’s plan.  He allowed us to shatter what we had, knowing that if it had only been broken in a few places, we would have tried to fix it ourselves.  Someone get the Krazy glue.  Anyone who has ever been in any relationship with anyone, KNOWS that you can’t fix it.  WE CAN’T FIX IT.  People have been trying for eons.  There are countless books, movies, blogs, and entire religions based on the frustrations of trying to fix it.  I should have received a medal for how hard I tried.

But you can’t fix something that wasn’t designed to be fixed.  We are sinners, married to sinners, children of sinners, shuffling about, bumping elbows with other sinners.  And this makes it oh-so-clear how much we need the wonderful, beautiful Grace of God.  Hear that?  You can stop trying now.  The great hamster wheel.  You’ve haven’t even been going anywhere.

In my marriage, this lesson was YEARS in the making.  It’s still in the making.  But, it’s much more habitual now than it was right after the epic shattering.  Then God created something completely different for us. Isn’t it funny how we were trying to put this thing back together, as if it was the end-all.  But HIS plan was so much better than what we could dream up for our own marriage.

So, back to the 7 Year Itch.  It exists.  The rumors are true.  Be prepared for it.  And you know, there might even be an itch at year one, or two, or three.  Or anytime really.  But instead of allowing the magnetic pull to break something in your marriage (even if it seems harmless, it will break trust) turn the end of that magnet towards your spouse.

My 7 Year Itch has given me a new passion for getting to know my husband.  Something IS unsettled in me.  Something IS bored.  Something IS wondering if there’s more.

THERE IS.  And it’s right in front of me.  Drinking a beer on the couch. There are millions of questions I haven’t ask him yet.  There are millions of things he doesn’t know about me yet.  We’ve never played Truth or Dare in a crowded restaurant.  We’ve never made out in a movie theater.  We’ve never been to the circus together.  There are places we haven’t been, positions we haven’t tried, and things that we still can’t read in each other’s minds. There are spiritual breakthroughs yet to be had, prayers yet to leave our lips for one another, worship songs yet to be sung.  Knowledge of God’s faithfulness yet to be demonstrated through this man.  Through me.  Further evidence to be discovered that God’s ability to love us perfectly is mind-boggling.

There’s so much more.  More intimacy to be found.  And I’m going hunting for it.  My husband is in for it, Lord help him.”

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15 thoughts on “The 7-year Itch

  1. This is beautifully written. I once heard it said, “We must be broken to let the Son shine through.” It’s just as true with the light of the sun. We can’t grow if we’re not broken. And I have found that the greatest good comes from some of the greatest pain. Bless your heart. happy anniversary. Thanks for finding my blog that I get to read yours. Best, Meg

  2. Well! I’ve have two marriages…the 1st lasted 19 years. We just celebrated 33 years…and I guess we don’t have much more exploring to do together; but, the 2nd is a whole lot better than the 1st. We’re both healthy, happy, and living for the Lord. You are my oldest grandchild’s age, so I guess I can relate.

    “There’s so much more. More intimacy to be found. And I’m going hunting for it. My husband is in for it, Lord help him.”
    Well said…my mom always said, “Curiosity killed the cat, and satisfaction brought it back.!” Kids and grand-kids always bring more surprises than you expect, but that’s part of the deal. Good luck to you for your next 7!!!!!
    Charlie…

    • Thanks Charlie. And congrats to you and your wife on 33 years. I might have you steal that quote from your Mom! So cute, and true. We don’t have kids yet, so I’m gonna have to take your word for it that they bring a whole different type of surprise to the situation. We’re looking forward to that chapter…. when it comes. 🙂

    • Thanks Charlie. And congrats to you and your wife on 33 years. I might have you steal that quote from your Mom! So cute, and true. We don’t have kids yet, so I’m gonna have to take your word for it that they bring a whole different type of surprise to the situation. We’re looking forward to that chapter…. when it comes. 🙂

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